They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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