so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
