i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
