She's JV to your varsity
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
my poor anus
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
