My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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