census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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