definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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