My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
