True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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