whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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