You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just googled if crying burns calories
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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