And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
