hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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