puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
