CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
