Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
