Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
