I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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