My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
BRING THE BAGELS
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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