I must be too annoying 4 u.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
