Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
