Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
