I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
