Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
