Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
