i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
