So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
