based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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