Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
