so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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