Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
