last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
and she was petting her beer can
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
