Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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