Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You have to summon your inner elephant
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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