But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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