stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
