i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
