I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Randomize
