honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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