Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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