Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
