I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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