I am puke
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
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