i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
