I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize