You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
