someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
