Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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