Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
