I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
