I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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