I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
